New Experiences

Recently I have been having a lot of new experiences and most of them have been good. So I've decided to document my new experiences for a future date when I feel like life is boring or stagnant. I find that reflecting on my past experiences is sometimes helpful when I feel down. So here goes, for November 2015, I had the following new experiences:

Panacotta

I had Panacotta. I know, it doesn't seem like a big deal to you, but for me it was major. I love food reality tv. I religiously watch Master chef and on Master chef someone is always making a panacotta and running the risk of it not setting in time to complete the challenge. This dessert is not popular where I live, so I had no idea what it tasted like. I assumed however, that it would taste like jello or like a custard pudding. So, you can imagine that when I saw it in the convenience store, I squealed at the opportunity to finally taste this dessert that was so popular on one of my favourite tv shows. Needless to say, I enjoyed every spoonful of my panacotta :).

I learnt that there is a fruit called 'Buddha's Hand'. I didn't get the opportunity to taste this exotic fruit, but from my research I probably haven't missed much. So, just knowing it exists is enough. Isn't this world amazing! I would never have imagined that this was the normal shape of anything. It however, is beautiful in its own right.

Buddha's Hand

After living in Japan for several years, I finally tried hot Japanese sake and discovered just how strong sake can be and that I actually like it. I was at a public cafeteria when I saw some people drinking a clear liquid from cute, tiny cups  that looked like toy cups from doll houses. I was immediately intrigued. So I tried it. The heat from the sake is somewhat intensified when heated. The sake immediately warmed me from the inside out on a cold autumn day.

Hot Sake (Japanese)

In addition, I recently had two strange but interesting fruits from Vietnam. I tried langsat (lanzones) and dried lychee. The langsat was dirty on the outside but the inside had such a pleasant taste. The texture of the fruit was that of a grape, but the taste was reminiscent of passion fruit.                 

At first I was unsure about the dried lychee because I didn't know what it was, and it looked spoiled. I opened the lychee expecting to see white flesh, but was greeted by a black, shriveled object. As you can imagine I was surprised and scared to try it. Upon closer inspection, however, I realized that it was similar to a raisin or prune - a fruit that has shriveled up and changed to black during its aging process. After making that connection it got easier to eat the dried lychee.

Langsat (Lanzones)

Dried Lychee

What lies inside the dried lychee

Dear Mr. Sun,

For three whole days the sun has been in hiding.

Day broke at around 6:30 am but even at midday, 

the sky looked like late afternoon, right before sunset, dark and cloudy.

Mr. Sun has been hiding far behind the clouds.

Out of my reach for far too long.

Did we have an argument and you moved out while I was sleeping?

Are you away on a business trip? 

Where are you, my hot, sweet sunshine?

I miss your kisses and the rays that normally massage my skin daily.

I'm sorry for whatever I did.

Just come back and I promise I will treat you better. 

Don't you think three days is enough punishment?

The real meaning of development

One thing I'll miss when I return to Jamaica is the ease with which I can find past time activities in Japan. There's always something interesting going on, and I don't mean a party or a tv show. I can simply walk to a park and stumble  upon a festival or turn a corner and stumble into a museum or walk into a glass atelier with 5 minute classes. I can go to a coffee shop, study, watch YouTube, scroll through Facebook or talk to real people. I can take a stroll up the mountain or take a cable car instead.

"The developed country is not one in which the poor has cars.
It is where the rich uses public transportation."

These simple pleasures have become normal activities that are accessible to even a pauper like me. This is one of the marks of development - when people with the lowest income can enjoy the same things in life as the rich. A friend shared a quote with me recently that said a country is developed not when the poor can buy cars, but when the rich uses public transportation. This made a lot of sense. Of course, the rich will still have nicer things, they will have bigger houses and luxury cars, but they will go to the same museums, parks, ateliers, light shows, festivals and ride in the same trains and buses. Why? Wealth distribution and infrastructural development are key to real development. With wealth distribution, the poor is not really poor and with infrastructure development, public transport becomes more efficient and desirable than private transport.

The African Festival in Kobe

I recently went to an 'African' festival with a few friends and ended up having a good time overall, but needless to say, there were a few regrettable parts as well. However, the bad moments don't deserve mention here.

The festival itself was on a mountain, on a cool October day. There were people playing rugby nearby and children playing in a park. The festival was the perfect vertex to the triangular scene of activities on the slightly hilly field.

The first thing I noticed was that this 'African' Festival had only a few Africans. To be specific, there were three Africans there. Everyone else were either Japanese or from another country. Anyways, this is usual at Japanese festivals, so I didn't think too much about it.

The Africans present did not speak English, given that they were French Africans. So, we conversed in Japanese, which felt a bit strange on my end.

They had smoked fish and cheese for sale, counterfeit African prints (because they were cheap) and a chicken stew with mounds of onions for sale. I tried some of the smoked food, but the mounds of onions that I sighted in the pot were too much for me.

The main event of the day, however, was the music, not the food.

Financial Prudence and Guilt

Sometimes the people around me make me feel so guilty about spending money. Guilty enough to make me cut back on simple pleasures. I tried to cut back on the little things like lattes. I thought that saving all my money would satisfy me in the long run. It did satisfy me to a certain extent, but then it left me wanting and made me feel guilty every time I indulged. So from now on, I’m focusing on the bigger picture of the big wins. Changing my mindset, investing money, earning more, finding earning opportunities, etc.,.

Ok, so now after I've said that, I will get back to the real world. The real world of insufficient funds and single people without support. Let me get back to the ills of joblessness and no thoughts of carefree spending. Let's get back to the world of poverty, in which I'm currently a resident. In this world, there aren't many big wins, unless I win the lotto and there isn't really much money to invest in fancy sounding institutions. Earning opportunities are also scarce and when they pop up, they are never really in line with my passions and never really pay enough either. So still, I'm left feeling poor.

Clitoracy

Recently, I read the Vagina Monologues and was saddened. I didn't know that a book by such a name could evoke such feelings. There are old women in this world who do not know how to self induce an orgasm and / or have never experienced an orgasm before. Apparently marriage and baby making isn't an automatic teacher for women. It seems schools need clit literacy classes - clitoracy!



In this regard, men have life so easy. Everything is less complicated. As a result, some men, in heterosexual relationships do not know how to navigate a woman's body to give her pleasure. Our society also teaches women to rely on the man to provide sexual pleasure. The man does the seduction, the thrusting and the coming (orgasm), while the woman sits back and acts like a vessel for the man's pleasure. At some point during her duty of being a vessel, the woman may become another vessel, one that carries a baby.

Young Hearts

It's Throwback Wednesday  on one of my favourite radio stations!

I love to listen to oldies because they are usually witty and clean music. They make me think, laugh, cry, sing along.

Today, one particular song grabbed my attention - 'young heart run free' by Candi Staton. This song is essentially telling young women to guard their hearts with all their might and enjoy youth without being bogged down with families and relationship problems.

Many teenagers yearn for adulthood so that they can be free. However, once they become adults, many young girls start focusing on finding the perfect mate. Finding the perfect mate, however,  is not the most important thing at the early stage of adulthood.

Jamaican Patois (Volume 1 Issue 3)

SAKURAIRO LANGUAGE SERIES

Onomatopoeias

When learning a language, some of the most exciting things to learn are onomatopoeias. An onomatopoeia is a word that is created on the basis of a sound. They tend to be funny sounding words and definitely add some excitement to language classes.

They are fun to say but they are very difficult to explain at times because sounds are heard differently in different languages.

Stumbling and Falling

I've recently started a new habit of starting each day by writing down an inspirational quotation. Today's quotaion is 'That stumble just prevented a fall' (unknown author). I've been stumbling a lot lately. In fact, it feels like all I've been doing for the last few months has been stumbling. Stumbling over my thesis, my life plans, my finances. I've been stumbling non-stop. Even as I write this blog entry, I'm still stumbling.

The constant stumbling creates a feeling of shame and sometimes even induces a roll to the bottom of the hill, metaphorically speaking. It's quite easy to allow ourselves to roll to the bottom of the hill, if it happens through a series of stumbles and not one massive fall.

Therefore, while thinking about my inspirational quote of the day, I realized that it has its merits, but as I said to a friend sometime last week, 'when will you pick yourself up and start climbing upwards again? After you've hit rock bottom?'

Jamaican Patois (Volume 1 Issue 2)

SAKURAIRO LANGUAGE SERIES

Oral Dialect or Written Language?

I mentioned in Issue 1 that Jamaican Patois is a dialect of the English Language and not a separate language. 

I also mentioned that some people were of a different opinion. One of those persons is a widely known Jamaican and University Lecturer, Miss Carolyn Cooper. 

Carolyn Cooper writes a blog, called Jamaica Woman Tongue, in which she uses Standard English, and two forms of Jamaican Patois phonetic styles. In reality, most Jamaicans do not intentionally write Patois because it is a spoken dialect. https://carolynjoycooper.wordpress.com/

I'll be home for Christmas

A long time ago, when I was a mere child of less than 10 years, my big brother went to Cuba to work. On the day he left, my parents took him to the airport and of course, my little brother and I tagged along to see him off. Back then the Norman Manley International Airport (NMIA) in Kingston, Jamaica was much smaller and more open. We went upstairs and watched the passengers, including my brother walk to the plane while waving and shouting our final goodbyes.

(For the evolution of the NMIA in pictures, visit: http://arc-it-studio-architecture.blogspot.jp/2010/12/evolving-norman-manley-airport-since.html)

It was a bittersweet moment. The days following the departure were tear-filled days. My mother and I cried a lot. I don't remember seeing my brother or father crying though.

Some time after, my brother started writing letters to us and we wrote back.  He also telephoned us sometimes. We never returned the favour though. I guess back then it was very costly to place foreign calls.

After some time he told my mother that he would be coming home for vacation for the Christmas holiday. We were all elated.

Soon after, my mother started singing "I'll be home for Christmas" almost everyday.  I had never heard that Christmas Carol before, but by the end of the year, it had been indelibly marked on my brain. My brother came home that Christmas and all was right with the world again. I can't remember exactly what we did, but I remember how I felt during that holiday. After that holiday, Christmas became the most precious time of the year for me.

Jamaican Patois (Volume 1, Issue 1)

SAKURAIRO LANGUAGE SERIES

What is Jamaican Patois?

The Purpose of this article is to teach Jamaican Patois.

To some Jamaicans, Patois is considered a complete language. However, to others  it is considered a dialect of the English language.

I am an advocate of the latter argument. I believe that Patois is a dialect of the English language and you may choose for yourself over  time as you learn more about patois.

To me, many of the Patois words are bastardized English words and some English words have no Patois translation. They are just used as they are.

So, the SakuraIro Language Series will provide weekly insights into the Jamaican Patois dialect and give short, but sweet lessons :).

Scuffy, the Tug Boat.... I was meant for greater things!

When I turned 5, my brother's godmother (one of our neighbours) gave me a stack of books. I still remember it as one of my happiest memories. The covers were hard on all of the books except one. In that moment I realized that I preferred hard covers to soft covers. The books were mostly nursery rhymes and other children stories. They were not fairy tales. The book covers were so pretty and the pictures that were strewn over all the pages inside the books were even more enticing. You couldn't find a happier 5 year old than me at the time. I read all the hard cover books in no time, maybe a day or two then I re read them. The soft cover book was not so enticing as it was about Jesus and his 12 disciples. Even at five I found it strange that 12 grown men dropped their previous lives and decided to walk around behind or beside this guy who was preaching a message incongruent with the popular beliefs at the time. They didn't paint an industrious picture to me, therefore, I did not properly read that book until years later when I became more interested in religion.

To my husband

To my husband,

I wish that you will never steal, lie or cheat,
but if you must steal,
then steal away my sorrows.
If you must lie,
then lie with me every night
and if you must cheat,
then cheat death.

~An Irish Blessing

Scene from the movie 'Leap Year'

The helpless princess and her rescuer

There is feminist movement going on that aims to empower women and make us feel equal to men. I love the idea of equality of all adults. When I was a child I wanted equality of all children. I used to get punished because such rebellious views did not fit well with my father's views. Before I entered puberty, I was treated equally for the most part and then one day everything changed. One day I was expected to be the one to wash dishes. clean the house, learn to cook, and in general stay inside the house. While my brothers were supposed to rake the yard, wash the vehicle, run errands, ride bicycles, play outside and in general, just have more fun than me.  I couldn't understand why anyone would want to make such a distinction between my brothers and I, so I rebelled. I said no. I said no to washing dishes when I didn't dirty them just because I was a girl. I said no to cleaning with no help from my brothers just because I was a girl. I said no to coming inside the house as soon as the sun set just because I was a girl. I rebelled and I was vocal about why I was doing it, so after a while, my mother started to understand me a bit more. My father, on the other hand was not that flexible. He was set in his ways, so I just got punished for being disobedient over and over again, until he got tired.

And so I grew up to be a feminist.

Fukuoka & Jamaica: Patties and Jerk Chicken

I was recently in Fukuoka, Kyushu (Japan) attempting to have a vacation. I'm not sure how well the vacation part worked out, however, the city made an unexpected impression on me.

Fukuoka is located in the southern part of Japan and its capital is called Hakata. From the descriptions of my friend who used to live in Kyushu, Fukuoka sounded like the Tokyo of southern Japan. When it was suggested that I visit the city though, I wasn't thrilled. I guess I'm more of a sub-urban type of gal. Anyways, I went. Upon arriving at Hakata station, I was taken aback by the lack of organization that I'm used to in Kansai. Passengers did not line up for public transportation. There was a lot of bundling at the bus and train stations. The only saving grace was that they did not really push while entering the bus or train. I say not really because I got pushed once but decided to call it a mistake.

The Power of Habit

This post is dedicated to my lovely hobby of reading. I'm always reading something. These days though, it has been mostly academic material, however, I try to get some non-academic literary nourishment as often as I can. Most times that means short stories and / or short romance novels. Today, however, was not one of those days. Today I completed an extremely powerful book called 'THE POWER OF HABIT: Why we do what we do and how to change' by Charles Duhigg.

On October 16, 2014 I had a conversation with a high school friend on Facebook. We hadn't seen each other in years and just did a bit of catching up. We were both students pursuing post graduate degrees at the time, albeit in different parts of the globe. We both had struggles relating to school and I remember telling her that I was having problems with time management and productivity. As a solution to this problem I was finding things to fill up my schedule so that I would be forced to be more productive with the little time I had for each task. My plan was to create habits of going to the gym every night, working two part time jobs, studying Japanese more seriously and attending language classes, in addition to working on my thesis.

In essence, I wanted to change my habits. I told my friend about how I had lost motivation and how hard it was to work on my thesis. I went to school everyday, but most days were not productive. My friend then told me that she also went through something similar and suggested that I waste time productively by reading a non-wishy washy book called 'The Power of Habit'. She even sent me the link to the book on Amazon. I thanked her for it and decided not to buy it. A few months later, as I idly browsed the isle of English books at a bookstore in town, I saw 'The Power of Habit' on the shelf staring at me. It was fate, I had to buy it. So I started reading in 2015.

They're gonna talk!

Beres Hammond is one of my favourite artists. His music is so mello. He has gotten a bit old these days though, so he doesn't produce much music anymore. Anyways, his musical catalogue is long enough for him to retire comfortably without fans like me begrudging his inactivity. I am quite satisfied with all the songs I have to choose from his catalogue.

So today I will Explain the lyrics of one of his songs, entitled 'They gonna talk'. This song is in broken English, so it should be easy for non-Jamaicans to understand.  However, let me still provide an explanation for the benefit of those who still find it difficult to comprehend his lyrics.

The song is basically a love song. Two persons are in love or like each other a lot but one partner is overly worried however about how their relationship will be perceived by others. So Beres Hammond says 'as long as we know what's in our heart, we know our inner thoughts...' there's no reason to worry. That is, as long as we know that we are sincere in our feelings, we don't need to worry about other people doubting our love. In the chorus he continued to say people will talk, they will say a lot of things about the lovers.

The lyrics project an image of a poor man and a rich girl falling in love or a market vendor and a stockbroker falling in love. In such scenarios, people will definitely have an opinion on the couple's relationship because of their different social statuses. Beres' message is, 'let them talk, because as long as we are sincere in our feelings for each other, we have nothing to worry about'.

They gonna Talk

Some things were meant to be, so why not let it be and stop worrying about it.
Long as we know what's in our hearts, we know our inner thoughts, hey, no reason for concern.

Chorus:
They gonna talk, they gonna talk, they gonna say a lot of things about us.
You said you know that love is not a sin, but you worry about what people say
when they see me with you
Wonder what the crowd would say  when they find us together
Wonder what the people say when they know we are in love
Worry what the crowd would say

You pass them on the street, yes
Greet you with a smile, hey, as broad as a nile.
They will say all kind of goody goody to you, yes, that lingers for a while
All there in your mind - you wanna go, you wanna stay
It seems you can never ever make your mind up about it,
well,  but if you know that love is deep within, why should you worry what the folks will say?

When they see me with you?
Worry what the crowd would say when they find us together
Wonder what the people say when they know we're in love.
Wonder what the people say, oh yea

Wonder what the people say when they see me with you
And you wonder what the crowd would say when they find us together
Worry what the people say when they know we are in love
And you wonder what the people would say, yea yea

[Chorus]

Source of lyrics: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/bereshammond/theygonnatalk.html
Source of Picture: https://www.google.co.jp/search?q=beres+hammond&espv=2&biw=1366&bih=643&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0CAcQ_AUoAmoVChMIrInp-rWwxwIVipqUCh00Nw4P#imgrc=VBeUoCyiWey0-M%3A

Cold medicine in Summer

I have caught a cold in the middle of summer. Given the conditions that I usually experience, it may not be strange at all. Summer here is scorching hot and the humidity is as thick as thieves. At home, to monitor my electricity bill, I walk around half naked, open all the windows and use a fan. Some days though are just too hot, for example the days with temperatures 36 degrees Celsius and above. On those days, in order to not pass out from the intensity of the heat, I turn on the air conditioning unit.

On those days I genuinely fear the heat and avoid going outside for as long as I can. When I step outside I walk to in the heat to the train station then enter a cold train car. It feels really good to step into that car, but I imagine switching between such extreme temperatures can't be good for my body. As I step out of the train, it's back in the heat again. The same thing happens when I enter a store in a shopping mall. Each store seems to have their own air conditioner, so the hallways are hot. 

So with this constant exposure to extreme temperatures, I caught a cold this week. How inconvenient for me, given that I don't have time to be sick at the moment. Therefore, I headed to the internet to find the best over the counter cold medicine. Contac and VC 3000 were recommended repeatedly on a few sites, so I decided to go in search of that one. 

At the pharmacy I saw two types of Contac on the shelf. One was a one a day tablet and other was two a day. I figured the one a day was stronger so I chose that one. I proceeded to the cashier where the cashier called the pharmacist. Apparently, purchasing the drug called Contac requires special permission. The pharmacist then proceeded to inform me that the drug was of hospital strength. He went for a weaker version and asked if I was sure that I really wanted the stronger drug. I told him that the stronger the better since I don't want to be sick for longer than necessary. He asked me about three times if I was sure. 

This led me to wonder about his question. Why would he offer me weaker drugs? I then remembered hearing stories of dentists performing painful procedures sans anesthesia. I mentioned this to a Japanese one day and I was told that 'everyone' prefers to fill a tooth without anesthesia because the anesthesia is bad for us. Ask me if I wasn't shocked! I didn't even know that was possible. So maybe the pharmacist expects me to take weaker medicine over a longer period because that is perceived to have a smaller negative impact on the body. 

If that's the case, then I can understand his hesitancy to sell me the stronger medicine, but I'm from the get better soon posse. I don't want to be sick for more than a day or so. After all, this dissertation is not going to write itself while I'm waiting on the weak drugs to kick in.

Japan Blog - Tokyo Osaka Nagoya Kyoto: Over the Counter Cold Medicines in Japan

Japan Blog - Tokyo Osaka Nagoya Kyoto: Over the Counter Cold Medicines in Japan: 風邪薬 As in any other country that experiences very cold weather, winter-time Japan is likely to have you coughing, sneezing, blowing your n...

After You

I nominate Tanya Stephens 'After You' as the best break up dancehall song of this era. She is brutally honest in the song but she doesn't remain broken. She gets even, financially. By the end of the song, she is purged and ready to move on. She let all her feelings out and ranted while getting even. 

In the intro, she says, 

"Baby, when you left me,
My life was instantly transformed to hell
And I used to ache so bad
Oh God I never thought this poor heart could get well
And I used to wonder..

After you, what am I gonna do, What am I gonna do,
Baby after you, Whoa Oh!"

So, she cries after the break up. After a break up we usually bemoan our loss. There are moments of utter despair and sadness. However, the next stage is more important. In the next stage of the healing process, we pretend we are ok and try to overcome. Therefore, she sings,  

"Well me a put on a sad face,
So di judge gi me di yard
Run up X amount a bills pon yuh Platinum Card
Throw a tantrum,
Wid me nose a run inna court
So me get to know how to live nice off a child support
Me friend dem love you,
Cos you keep we drinkin Hq
And me coulda fit inna di Benz
But give thanks fi de H2
Me know a you leff me an fi a while me did a bawl
But me tell dem me leff you
Cas yuh buddy too small, now"

[Translation

I put on a sad face, so the judge would give me the home. Used your platinum card to buy lots of things. Throw a tantrum, even allow my nose to run in court, so that I'll be able to live well from child support. My friends love you because you allow us to drink HQ and I couldn't fit in the Mercedes Benz, so thank God for the H2. I know it was you who left me and for while I cried, but I told them that I left you because your penis was too small. Now...]

chorus:
After you,here's what am gonna do,
Ride around on your twenty twos, And still live affa you
(Whoa Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh)
After you, a now me ready fi enjoy me life
Nuh haffu work,n everyting still nice
Baby after you

[Translation

After You, here's what I am going to do, drive around in your 22s and live with your money. After you, I'm ready to enjoy my life. I won't have to work and everything will still be fine. Baby, after you]

verse 2:
Yuh neva knew what a wife an a lover meant
So me want half a everyting like de government
Now you can tell yuh friends yuh really have a bitchy wife
When me stick you up an clean you out like Lionel Ritchie Wife
Me a tek de house, de car, de children, yuh screwdrivers, even yuh power drill dem
All weh me nuh need me still a go tek
Cos me did need you but dat neva stop yuh from leave, now

[Translation

You didn't know what a wife and a lover meant. So I want half of everything like the government. Now you can tell your friends that you really have a bitchy wife when I stick you up and clean you out like Lionel Ritchie's wife. I am taking the house, the car, the children, your screwdrivers, even your power drills. Even the things I don't need, I'll still take them because I needed you but that didn't stop you from leaving. Now..]

chorus

verse 3:
Congratulations me hear yuh new girl's banged up
By di time di baby born me a mek sure yuh bankrupt
If me know divorce woulda be so sweet
I woulda beg di good Lord long time fi mek yuh cheat
Most people haffi sell drugs dem whole life fi this
All me do a say i do an tun yuh wife fi this
And yuh have the nerve fi a laugh when me fling back di ring
Well alright, when me done wid you
Yuh haffu go beg me a ting, cause After you

[Translation

Congratulations, I hear that your new girlfriend is pregnant. By the time the baby is born, I'll make sure you're bankrupt. If I had known divorce would be so sweet, I would have begged the good Lord a long time ago to let you cheat on me. Most people have to sell drugs for their whole lives to achieve this but all I had to do was say 'I do' and become a wife for this. And you had the nerve to laugh when I threw back the ring. Well, all right, when I'm done with you, you'll have to beg me for some money, because after you...]

outro: *Tanya talking

*Yuh see wah you a cause, you know seh me nuh stay so
But wah you expect me fi do,
All a this a fi yuh fault,
Cah yuh nuh leff ,me no choice
A woman my age wid four kids
Which man a go pick me up?!
I dont have a certificate I dnt even hav a marketable skill
And when me tell you say me wah work pon a career
Yuh say not a rahtid
Yuh wife nah fi work
And boops yuh breed me again
Thirty-six months me spend a carry yuh pickney dem inna my gut
Dat a thirty-six month outta my life way me couldn't look dung n see me toe
heh Heh, Yuh Lucky
the rest a ma life u say...

[Translation

You see what you have caused. You know that this is not like me. But what do you expect me to do? This is all your fault because you didn't leave me any choice. A woman my age with 4 children. Which other man is going to want me? I don't have a certificate, not even a marketable skill and when I wanted to work on a career, you said 'hell no!' because you didn't want your wife to work. And so I just kept having your children. Thirty six months I spent carrying your children in my belly. That's thirty six months out of my life that I couldn't even look down and see my toes. Haha, you're lucky! You said the rest of my life....]

Read more: Tanya Stephens - After You Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

Kindness - What exactly is it?

We often times don't think too much about kindness. Everyone knows of the word and everyone knows that it's better to be kind than unkind, but how many of us are actually kind.


The Merriam-Webster online dictionary defines 'kind' as "having or showing a gentle nature and a desire to help others: wanting and liking to do good things and to bring happiness to others".

The Oxford online dictionary defines it as "The quality of being friendly, generous and considerate".

These definitions are understandable but at the same time very vague. The definitions therefore raise a few questions, such as if one is not gentle natured, can't that person be kind? How generous do I have to be so I can be considered kind? Can I be generous to my friends only? Can I be generous to only those in need? Should I only do good things to bring happiness to others in need or is the need irrelevant?

I happen to be of the belief that kindness extends beyond need. It is kind to help an old lady with her grocery bags. It is kind to help a child with home work. There are many kind acts that are based on need, but I believe it shows a greater level of kindness and consideration when you send a friend a scarf because it's winter and she's feeling a bit down. It's awesome when your friend sees some thing being advertised and relays the information because he/she thinks you may benefit from it. This kind of kindness that extends beyond needs shows the true character of a friend. My big brother took my friends and I out for ice cream a few times during high school, not because we needed it or because he would benefit somehow, but because he had day offs and just thought of a way to enhance my happiness.

The thoughtfulness behind a kind act is much greater in acts that are not related to need. Those related to need should be 'mandatory' kind acts, Helping someone with bus fare, giving to the homeless, helping an old lady with her bags are great, but imagine if you could take it a step further. Imagine if you stopped and had conversations with the homeless, shared stories about your day with him or her, talk to the old lady while carrying her bags and listen to her stories. Imagine being able to step up your kindness game, do you know how much happier you would be?!

New Music

New music is always welcome to my ears. When I say new music, I mean new genres, new songs, new artists, and new spins on old songs. Recently I listened to 'sugar' by maroon 5, several mixes by Skrillex and some other Electro Dance Music artists. They undoubtedly lifted my mood in times of need. However, the artist that has created an avalanche in my brain is called STROMAE.

Upon discovering Stromae's music I can't go a day without his melodic voice caressing my soul. He's positively addictive. His voice, his language, his clothes and of course, his music videos. Ooo la la! He is definitely the 'sugar' that Maroon 5 was talking about in their song. :) Well, he's the sugar in my interpretation of the song.

Anyhow, Stromae is a Belgian with a Rwandan father and a Dutch Mother. That mixture of genes led to an awesome physical output. More Rwandans and Dutch people need to hook up and make babies with velvet skin and perfectly curled hair, haha.

His looks are only one part of the addiction though. His music and videos are the main sources of attraction. The first song I heard was 'Tous le memes'. At first I couldn't understand anything that he was saying, but I didn't need to. The music had me dancing at midnight in the middle of the streets and singing 'tous les memes' and 'rendezvous'. I later watched an interview and heard him saying that many people tend to respond to the sincerity of his music and don't require lyrical understanding to vibe to it. Later, of course, I watched a video with subtitles and quite liked the lyrics as well. It has been so long that I've had such a craving for an artist's music that I feel like I've been shocked back to life by this Stromae.

So, I've mentioned his looks and his music, but when I watch him in interviews, my love for this guy grew some more. He's amazingly humble and charismatic. He makes me want to just wrap in a hug and never let him go.

I'm going to end here because I'm getting another wave of desire to hear his voice and practice my french by reciting his lyrics :).

Look at that velvety skin!

By the way, here's a more official article about him :)
http://www.cafebabel.co.uk/culture/article/stromae-role-model-me-at-25-you-shut-your-mouth-and-listen.html

Don't get left behind!

Today was a very good day. I feel so good right now, it's almost as if I've finished this paper that I've been working on for the last four months, even though I still need to re estimate all my equations.

I did something today that I did not know existed before. I accounted for non-stationarity in my data while estimating Granger Causality tests in a VAR. Last month I added this simple test to my paper to see whether or not two of my variables were probably endogenously determined. I used the simple version of this test because I didn't know that a more robust version actually existed. 

Last week, however, I attended a seminar and someone presented on Granger Causality and I couldn't understand how her whole paper could be based on this very simple test that I knew of as just a diagnostic test. So for a few days that question rested on my mind and finally today I did some research and what did I find? I found that I'm very old school. My econometrics knowledge is from the 2006-2008 era. Which, in 2015 is very old. In my econometrics days I didn't even learn how to use panel data. 

This is one of the most important reasons for going to academic conferences and networking with others in your field. If you don't, you'll get left behind! Things change everyday day. Processes get upgraded and new ways of doing things are discovered every year. 

Of course not every conference will yield new knowledge and sometimes because of our busy schedules we may not be able to read all the new material that gets released. Notwithstanding that though, the effort to continually learn must be made. Or else one day my 9 years as a university student will become useless simply because I didn't stay relevant. 

Husband and Wives should be neighbours

Why do people believe that after marriage, they have to move in together and do everything together?

It really is a strange thing to do. Why can't they just be neighbours?

Let's think about the concept of marriage. In a typical two person relationship, the couple dates, courts, falls in love and decides to get married. The marriage is done through a wedding ceremony usually and a legally binding document is signed by both parties. This document makes both parties legal representatives and caregivers of each other. The agreement does not stipulate that the couple live together.

Living by oneself is hard enough as it is, living with another person can be very difficult. Many newly weds experience utter shock after living together for a short while. Some people blow their nose and eat it. Some scatter clothes all over the house . some pee on the toilet seat. Some don't know that cleaning means more than vacuuming and organising chairs. Some think it's OK to shower only two or three times a week. There are so many ways in which individuals differ, why would we want to iimpose our strange and sometimes nasty ways on the person who we love so much?

Since we love each other very much, let's keep it that way and share a fence. Let's be neighbours. That way, we can be close but not so close as to disgust each other. We can see each other everyday and sleep in the same bed when we choose to. You would argue less because if you don't like something in your spouse's house, then you can simply go to your house. If he didn't wash his sheets or his house smells like feet, you can simply leave and return when it is in a more habitable state and to top it off, he can visit you until such a time occurs.

Being neighbours would also make you both more ambitious. There wouldn't be such a big fuss over splitting the family house in half if a divorce were to take place. The woman wouldn't transfer all her financial needs unto her spouse and her spouse wouldnt become financially burdened by marriage. This would definitely make happier spouses. What do you think?

Our Struggles

Each person is so different from the other, even though we share certain similarities. Each person has his/her own struggle, no matter how big or small the individual is. We all have targets and milestones in our lives and achieving the goals and getting to the mile stone has to be a challenge otherwise it wouldn't have been a worthwhile target.

 For some persons suffering from depression that target may be getting out of bed each morning and doing simple tasks like taking a shower and getting out the house. For many persons these tasks aren't targets and just form a natural part of their day. For some persons, eating healthy is a big target, and to this end, losing weight may be the end goal. For another set of persons, buying things like houses and cars are their targets and problems surrounding the monetary aspect of these dreams plague their thoughts. For some persons, simply following a routine is a struggle and therefore all the above mentioned targets become more difficult because of a simple inability to stick to a routine.

We grow up following routines. We wake up, shower, go to school, play with friends, return home, study, watch tv, sleep. That was my routine for most of my childhood. It was supposed to get me ready for the routines I would need to succeed in adulthood, but I broke away from this tiring routine during university and it's been the hardest thing to revert to it. Even while working this routine was hard. My body hates waking up early and hates being put to sleep before it's naturally ready to sleep. 

Childfree Women

Nobody understands when a woman says she doesn't want children. It is passed over as her not finding the right man as yet, her biological clock just isn't ticking yet, or she's just going through a phase. It seems most people believe that women should have babies simply because god gave them the plumbing to do it. It is also seen as a strange thing for a woman to be married and still not desire a child. Some women, however, just don't want to have children. Children are a major responsibility with questionable benefits, so some person choose not to burden themselves with this responsibility. Some women may not even think of it as a burden, but simply have no desire towards making babies.

People assume that there is only one path to life, education, job, marriage, children, die. When I was only a wee teenager I realized just how boring that sequence could be and decided to take another route on my way to death (since we're all living to die). That path has come to be about travelling, learning about different cultures, working and living in various countries, writing and researching, among others. That plan has no room for family house mortgage, mini van or expelling large objects from my body that make me ill during and after pregnancy.

Now, it may not be easy to see how a baby would poop on my seemingly flexibly plans, but let me provide some enlightenment. A 2014 Huffington post article by Emily Thomas stated that raising a child in the US from age zero to 17 costs approximately US$304,000 . Consider the delivery of a child alone, that's easily US$10,000. That's over a million Japanese yen. That would significantly cut into my budget for eating, drinking tea and travelling to two three countries per year. In fact, it may eliminate any such plans whatsoever. This is just a monetary issue though, so if you are rich, that won't be an issue. The thing is though, how many people are rich enough to take three vacations per year to exotic places like greenland, Palau, South Africa and still maintain a child? Even without a child in the picture, I would have to work really hard to achieve my travel dreams, so imagine, having an extra plane seat to pay for and other child related expenses. 

Consider my desire to work in various countries. Again, I would need to consider international schools that are usually expensive. Think of the child's well being. Would a child be happy going from school to school just because of her mother's busy life? I don't think so. That may lead to mental problems in a child, learning problems, mental disorders due to not enough family times and no close network of friends, since he/she never spends enough time in one location to make any real friends.

Another thing, if a woman doesn't want children, she probably isn't overflowing with maternal instincts. She would probably suffer serious depression if she were forced into a situation where she had to have a child. Given the hardships experienced by pregnant women and mothers, a woman should be mentally ready to sacrifice her body, money and time for the child. Otherwise, she will probably be miserable and lose interest in her own life. That kind of thing is what leads to crazy mothers killing their babies and sometimes killing themselves too.

Source of the cost of raising a child: Huffington Post article by Emily Thomas: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/18/cost-of-raising-a-child_n_5688179.html

Guam - a well kept secret

There is a little island in the pacific called Guam. It's a well kept secret. The island can be driven around in a matter of hours. With a bicycle, it could take a whole day. A whole day! :). The island is small, but not lacking in things to do. Driving around the island is easy and seemed safe to me. I took some pictures of things that grabbed my attention while I was there.

Pictures of Guam

 An amazingly beautiful flower that I don't know the name of.

 Apparently worm and cricket snacks are eaten in Guam :o

Everyone loves Jamaican food! I found this Jamaican restaurant with at least 3 outlets.

 Splashing dashing restless sea, never still you seem to be.. (Extract from the poem by Cecily E. Pike)

 The beautiful flower again

 and again...

 Popping colours, almost neon

 Such a serene day. Perfect for rowing a boat, so I did a little sea canoeing :)

 Can you guess what this is?  A foot and a hand! Plus some interesting looking seaweed.

 Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. "The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light." Matthew 6:22

 An interesting art piece.

 The perfect view

Watching the para-sailors from afar and wishing I could join.

Spring Flowers

As the title suggests, in spring lots of flowers spring to life. The landscape pops with lively colours and so does my overall mood. With that said, I completely understand now why Japanese make such an event out of cherry blossom watching. At first, I thought it was also strange to have a word for it 'hanami', but after enduring a dull, gloomy and cold winter, spring reminds us that we really are alive and it reminds us that winter will always end. A brighter day will always come and we can always sit still and observe the beauty of life or sit beneath sakura trees and picnic all day. 

Sakura trees aren't the only blossoms that Japanese love to look at though. Plum 'ume' blossoms are also a treat. They bloom earlier in March and pull out big crowds who go to gardens to view their beauty. In fact, I went to a garden recently that had plum blossoms in grand style. They were spectacular. A friend of mine calls the views surreal and I agree with him. The landscape in this country is just amazing. Here are a few pics from my recent plum blossom viewing. 

 People came out in droves to see the plum blossoms. The blossoms must really feel appreciated :).

 The pink and white road with the lovely flowery scent of plum blossoms.

 Getting a close up with this beauty.

x

These weeping trees are so splendid in all their pink glory. The petals on the ground create a magical scene.

 Another close up 

Three colours, all in one shot! Yatta!

 Look what I found, early blooming Sakura (cherry blossoms)
!      

The weeping forest, well, not quite a forest.

On the other side of the plum blossom garden were Camellia flowers (tsubaki - in Japanese). 

 A nice spread of Camellia on the soft, green moss.

 Just lovely.

 A hybrid!

Photographing the photographer :)

These babies were so stubborn. They just would not move with the flow and go downstream. Apparently they're 'upstreamers' ;)