The helpless princess and her rescuer

There is feminist movement going on that aims to empower women and make us feel equal to men. I love the idea of equality of all adults. When I was a child I wanted equality of all children. I used to get punished because such rebellious views did not fit well with my father's views. Before I entered puberty, I was treated equally for the most part and then one day everything changed. One day I was expected to be the one to wash dishes. clean the house, learn to cook, and in general stay inside the house. While my brothers were supposed to rake the yard, wash the vehicle, run errands, ride bicycles, play outside and in general, just have more fun than me.  I couldn't understand why anyone would want to make such a distinction between my brothers and I, so I rebelled. I said no. I said no to washing dishes when I didn't dirty them just because I was a girl. I said no to cleaning with no help from my brothers just because I was a girl. I said no to coming inside the house as soon as the sun set just because I was a girl. I rebelled and I was vocal about why I was doing it, so after a while, my mother started to understand me a bit more. My father, on the other hand was not that flexible. He was set in his ways, so I just got punished for being disobedient over and over again, until he got tired.

And so I grew up to be a feminist.

I wonder though, how can there be feminists if there are no masculinists? The word is real, but no one ever hears of a masculinist meeting or protest. Men seem to still be in control after all the work feminists have put in over the years. Feminists have been demanding equality in work, pay, dress, and other obvious things, but what about the more subtle things like the fairy tales we tell our children, the nursery rhymes they learn, the toys we give to our children. Some feminists advocate for little girls to be given more than dolls to play with but never encourage that dolls be added to the list of toys for boys too. Playing with dolls helps girls to develop their ability to nurture and care for others. It also teaches them a bit about motherhood. So shouldn't boys learn about nurturing, caring and fatherhood from dolls too?

Our fairy tales are filled with men rescuing helpless, virginal women who live happily ever after the rescue. So even though we no longer live in the era where men are seen as the sole protectors of women because the state had not been completely developed yet, we still teach our children these characteristics through fairy tales. Nowadays, women are a part of the army and police force, women are security guards, women run governments and crime fighting organisations. If someone needs rescuing, a woman may be the rescuer or a part of the rescue team. However, when it comes on to romantic relationships, many women become helpless princesses who need a man to rescue them. In fact, a man rescuing her becomes a big requirement for a relationship for some women.

Some women require that the man earn more, be the breadwinner, be aggressive, kill insects around the house, buy fancy, expensive gifts, take them out on dates, perform really well in bed and etcetera. The man, on the other hand, wants a woman to be pure, virginal, seemingly inexperienced sexually, less ambitious, eager to please, not aggressive, scared of insects, child-like, have a hairless body (with the exception of her head), have a certain body shape and size, among other things.

On most days, I don't want the things listed in the latter list, however, sometimes, during or after a rough day I wish for a rescuer. Some days, I think that this could all be so much easier if I got married and became a housewife. I could put my career goals aside and just become someone's dependent. Then I wonder, do men get the same thoughts? Do men sometimes wish to be rescued? From the looks of it, I think they do. After all, some get sugar mommies and some become stay at home dads. These men are usually ridiculed in society, while the women who do the same thing are not.

I think fairy tales should include men being rescued by women, vice versa and people breaking out of whatever problems they have all on their own or with the help of friends. That's how real life is. It is not just one story. Sometimes the man is the rescuer and sometimes the woman is the rescuer. Sometimes, however, you have to rescue yourself while at other times, you are lucky enough to have friends and / or family who can help. Why not teach that to little children, so they don't have to grow up to be feminists or masculinists? Why not just teach them to be good human beings without imposing our creation of gender roles on them?



Sources:
 http://www.sparksummit.com/2012/11/14/feminism-what-it-is-and-why-it%E2%80%99s-still-important/
http://readalsvoice.blogspot.jp/2014/03/what-disney-princess-are-you.html