Recently, I read the Vagina Monologues and was saddened. I didn't know that a book by such a name could evoke such feelings. There are old women in this world who do not know how to self induce an orgasm and / or have never experienced an orgasm before. Apparently marriage and baby making isn't an automatic teacher for women. It seems schools need clit literacy classes - clitoracy!
In this regard, men have life so easy. Everything is less complicated. As a result, some men, in heterosexual relationships do not know how to navigate a woman's body to give her pleasure. Our society also teaches women to rely on the man to provide sexual pleasure. The man does the seduction, the thrusting and the coming (orgasm), while the woman sits back and acts like a vessel for the man's pleasure. At some point during her duty of being a vessel, the woman may become another vessel, one that carries a baby.
Life can go on for decades for the woman and she may never experience the explosive joy that her vagina was designed to give her. She may even have sex on a regular basis with a husband or boyfriend, who may think or say out loud that she does not have a high sex drive. In fact, it is a widely held belief that women have lower sex drives than men. However, there is no real study on the link between sex drive and past orgasms in women. I hypothesize that women who have had past orgasms with their partners desire more sex (have higher sex drives).
I know that there are people who genuinely have low sex drives, but some women are just not interested in sex because it is usually an incomplete experience for them. When a man thrusts until he comes, but pays little to no attention to the woman's clitoris, and the woman does not demand clitoral stimulation, then it is highly unlikely for the woman to orgasm by the time the man does.
There is a myth that men who can maintain an erection for a long time are better lovers than those that can't. Also, many women have become obsessed with penis sizes. However, if orgasms for most women do not lie in the vaginal canal, then a long male erection is not very important to the woman. I'm not saying that penetration is not important for women because some women do orgasm through vaginal penetration, albeit a small percentage. What I'm saying is that it is less important than clitoral stimulation.
An African friend of mine told me last year that oral sex was something that women were expected to do to men and not vice versa. How did he get there? Did some women start giving men oral sex as a subtle signal to get them to return the favour, then men latched on to the concept but decided not to reciprocate? As far as I can understand, it is far more important for women to receive oral sex than it is for men to receive it. Oral sex is not the only way to bring the average woman to orgasm, however, it may be the easiest way given that navigating the clitoris with the fingers may be too complex and time consuming for some men.Picture sources:
vdaycarolina.web.unc.edu
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