Why do I want him to call now after ignoring him all day?
My emotions are so mixed up. I really don't want to like him, but the time spent with him has created some level of companionship towards him. Maybe 'companionship' is the wrong word. 'Friendliness' may be a better word. So, he doesn't seem too bad. Well, I never really expected him to be, but why do I want him to call?
I turn down all his offers to lunch, dinner, date, whatever. But I want him to ask any ways. I tell him, 'no, you can't take me anywhere', but I'm imagining him taking me to the airport. He's also the first one to pop up when I think of going to a fun filled place.
I don't understand the strange things that happen when I think of men.
He's not unattractive. But it would be nice if his stomach was not as large or his age wasn't a concern.
How will I ever know when a man is genuine? How will I be able to trust a man when most of the men I know are horrible, selfish creatures? I'm scared that I may get hurt, so I don't allow myself to get involved emotionally with anyone. It hurts too much when I have to pick up the pieces of my heart all by my lonesome self. It hurts like hell.
So it all comes down to these facts:
1. I seem to like him
2. I'm leaving the country soon
3. That's not enough time to get to know him
4. I don't know how genuine his confessions of affection are
5. He may distract me while in school.
6. I'm not really comfortable around men
