Wednesday, July 2, 2014

3 little words of little importance

I grew up in a society that didn't place much emphasis on the words 'I love you'. Love was shown by actions and everybody understood that. However, over time I've grown sensitive to those words. It seems that American television has brainwashed me into thinking that a confession of feelings is more important or equally as important as the actions of love. Mere confessions of love are seen all over American media. Personally, I think these words are overrated. The Chinese have a similar belief in actions over words. I recently read an article at
about communication in a Chinese home. The article spoke about how well children learnt to read cryptic emotional messages in their families. They learnt how to understand the thing that was heard but not said. On that note, do we need to promote public display of affection in our conservative societies so that we'll be more Americanized? I don't think it's necessary to say 'I love you', what is important is showing the people around you that you care. They will understand it, even if they are Americans who expect to hear the words. I am not totally against it being sad in times when it really matters and needs to be said, but words without actions are meaningless.  

So my question is 'why do Americans think it is so important to say those three little words?'. After meeting someone for a few months, I may develop deep, sincere feelings for him or her but why should I be rushing to declare these feelings? It seems like couples in Americanized societies are running a race to see who will say the words first. But wouldn't it be better to wait and carefully hone the relationship over time and use those words only when you are absolutely sure that this person is worthy of your love? From television shows and other forms of media and also just people around me, it seems normal for people to 'fall in love' every few months, but once you understand love, you'd realize how impossible it is to fall in love that frequently. I think falling in love is like throwing an anchor from a ship into the deep blue sea. If the relationship ends, it won't be easy to simply haul the anchor back onto the ship. If it were, then it wouldn't be an anchor, but a float. Pulling it up takes a lot of time and strength and in my estimation, that equates to more than just a few months of recuperation. So, what I'm saying is, what many of us call love is not really love. It's that word I learnt in high school, infatuation. It's like a float that is thrown overboard a ship. It's lightweight and easy to maneuver. 

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